Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Journal // Change and New Beginnings

>>i've moved across the country, and i feel happier than ever. after a year of literally every aspect of my life going through an intense period of flux, all of the pieces - at once conflicting, consorting, and ready to combust - have fallen into place. i left my home of six years to start over somewhere new because, in short, i was just... ready for a change. i left a good job to look for a new job, i left great friends to start over with new friends. i left the city i knew like the back of my own birthmarked hand to build a life in a new city i hardly know. time-zones, climates, mentality, architecture, ethnic breakdown, vegetation, and industry - hardly anything is the same from what i once knew. yet somehow, i feel more whole than i have in quite a while. i am fully invested, and my returns are matched on every front. i left a wonderful relationship earlier in the year because, in short, i felt i couldn't commit my life to a person before committing myself to a life. as of now, i don't know what i'll be doing for full time work, i don't know exactly where i'll be living once i find my work, and i'm not even positive i know what i WANT to do for work!  but somehow, everything feels just as it should. when we lose or leave our jobs, we lose our sense of purpose, our sense of worth. isn't that how it usually goes? i feel more alive than ever. i feel ignited and impassioned and in love, once again. we parted ways only to find ourselves with a regained sense of independence and appreciation, and pursuing new career paths in the same state. now my pursuit is happiness. i want to create it, i want to sustain it, i want to share it. rejection is motivating, criticism is productive. i'm reminded again that it really, really is all about your perception. <<

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