Friday, June 8, 2012

Weekend Update, 7pm Friday

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - Four young women in their mid twenties were seen on the 1000 block of N Carol Street boarding a black Cadillac Escalade with California license plates at approximately 2p.m. Friday. The four women - a brunette, a redhead, and two blondes - are thought to be between 5'6" and 5'7" weighing roughly 115-125lbs. The excess of baggage in their possession is thought to weigh approximately 600lbs. The women were last seen with a man of medium dark complexion, approximately 50 years of age and roughly 5 feet tall.

HIGHWAY 15, CA - 4pm Friday - Eastbound vehicles are reportedly experiencing bumper to bumper traffic between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. SUVs packed with remarkably tan and beefed up men with greasy hair taking pictures of themselves while blasting techno music comprise roughly 30% of vehicles on the road.

BARSTOW, CA - Four well-dressed women were seen exiting a black Cadillac Escalade outside of the Chipotle parking lot, just off of Hwy 15 at approximately 7pm Friday. It is thought that the women belong to an up-and-coming Australian pop singing group. An older and very stout gentlemen with dark hair and whiskers was seen photographing the women as their multi-hued heads of hair blew glamorously in the desert wind. The women reportedly spent a mere $14 cumulatively at Chipotle, but a whopping $64 dollars at the liquor convenience store across the parking lot.

Further sightings of the alleged pop stars will be reported from Las Vegas, NV as the weekend festivities go underway.

1 comment:

  1. I'd move back to SF just to be a part of these adventures.